Thursday, July 15, 2010

2. Frog Cakes

Winter sucks. It does because of what you are required to wear in winter. I don't want to have to put on track pants, socks, shoes, t-shirt then a sweater and in some cases a jacket on top of all that just so I can DRIVE 200 meters down the road to buy lunch and some groceries; I'm a guy and the journey isn't worthy of the effort it takes just to rummage through my pile of shit (clothes) scattered around my room. Screw it, next time i'm wearing t-shirt, trackies and thongs and if anyone asks me "aren't you cold" I'm gonna stab them with the frozen booger icicle hanging from my nose.

So today I have the day off from work, I wake up late and it feels like my gut is going to cave in from lack of food to support my stomach walls... AKA "hungry like a motherfucker". So I feel like eating chicken, not KFC; don't get me wrong, KFC is the best fried chicken out there, but they made a crucial mistake; they listed all the fucked up things about it on the box. The Ultimate Burger Meal is something like 1600 calories, which is OK if I eat once or twice a day but i eat 5 times a day and get hungry about 11 times a day, so scrap that.
Aussie deli style BBQ chicken is the way to go, see I suspect that it's possibly just as unhealthy as KFC but at least I don't know. Only $10 for a whole free range chicken isn't too bad, my only complaint is that there is no variety of flavour. Every single chicken shop must have the same damn recipe for BBQ chicken dating back to the 70's.

For some reason I like eating biscuits, cakes, sweets that resemble animals or little people. I recall using a chicken breast that I was about to cook, as a puppet and held it hostage with a knife to it's (imaginary) throat, pleading for mercy in a squeaky voice that I imagined a chicken breast would have. I then demanded $5 from my former girlfriend or else I would "murder" the chicken breast. She refused to pay the ransom so I was forced to cut the chicken breast's throat, imitating gargling sounds of death as I violently cut through the flesh. To my surprise (and amusement) this kinda horrified my ex and I can still remember the look she gave me. Any surprise I'm single?

Frog Cakes, I bought two. I haven't had a frog cake for years. I knew I liked them but I had forgotten what they tasted like. They are little cakes originating from South Australia (woot!) that are made to look like frogs, usually because of it's green icing but they do however come in yellow and pink icing as well. The icing is soft, and doesn't break and crumble when you bite into it and the head of the frog is filled with cream, but not just any cream, but a sweet buttery cream with essence of something in it. The base of the cake is a butter cake and goes perfect with the cream on top. You are not a real South Australian yet if you haven't eaten a frog cake.