Saturday, July 17, 2010

4. When urban myths aren't cool

A Chinese-Bruneian once advised me to eat monkey soup to cure my headache, I told him I think some paracetamol will do the trick just fine.

According to some, ground tiger penis and ground rhino horn are aphrodisiacs and cure erectile dysfunction. To this day these claims still remain unproven by any respectable scientific organisation (correct me if I'm wrong). The only real effect these myths have are on the animal population. There is a reason Tigers, Rhino's and other animals are on the brink of extinction and a large part of that reason is therapeutic myths.

A message to stupid people, 'PLEASE STOP FUCKING WITH OUR ANIMALS'. Yes OK i accept that it's usually the poor locals that are the ones hunting the animals, but only because they know they can sell it to you for what is, in their mind, a huge profit. If there wasn't a market for these bogus so-called 'cures' then they might actually stay in school longer and get educated about this subject. Monkey brain doesn't do diddly-squat to cure a headache, how about spend a lot less by going to your local pharmacy and buy  Panadol and that shit will fix you right up.

I recently visited Sabah, North Borneo and was updated on the latest urban/animal myth to hit the local populace. The Tokay Gecko (Tokek, Tuko, Toko, Pokok) found in South East Asia is the latest in Asia's bullshit animal remedies. Apparently the Tokay are widely hunted and prized now as the common belief is that a few drops of their saliva into your blood stream provides an antibody boost so potent that it cures Aids. Now believe me this is big business now. I know and have talked with people that have caught these large geckos and sell them to Chinese re-sellers for prices ranging from $5000RM - $15000RM depending on the size and weight. It's incredible the money people will pay in the hope to live a little bit longer. So I say farewell to the Tokek, for it really has only another 10 years till it's extinct. Having said all that, I realise If i was dying of something and someone told me sucking on boiled kangaroo testicles for 3 minutes a day would cure me, well it's not like I have much else to care about, right?

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