Saturday, August 28, 2010

10: Twinkle twinkle little vampire

I would like to express a few... disagreements, with the twilight movie(s).
Firstly, Edward (aka. the main dude) and his 'people' are NOT vampires, they are some sort of glittery demon race of humanoids that just happen to suck penis blood. Count Orlock from Nosferatu is a real vampire. If you haven't seen that classic film, please watch it. The Count makes Edward Cullen look like... well no..he already looks like a sissy boy, but my point is the Count is evil and bad, just how a vampire SHOULD be. I will add that Blade was a kick-ass vampire as well.

Secondly, I can't imagine how the main girl (can't remember her name) hooks up with a guy that has been drinking animals blood for the past 3 years without having serious health issues. You think 'bali belly' is bad, try licking up animals blood that has been festering in someone mouth for a day, I'm pretty damn sure you'll be spraying god forsaken things out of your anus later on.

Thirdly, I would like to know if the main girl has asthma or a respiratory related illness of some sort. She breathes way too much in the movies, Edward just has to look at her and she starts breathing like she's either about to cry, have an anxiety attack or have multiple orgasms.

Lastly, Werewolves. They are a violent mutation, physically appearing as a half man, half wolf that stands upright. They only come out when the moon is full, they die only by a silver bullet. They should NOT be, teeny boy Native Americans that transform at will into larger, healthier looking husky dogs. Someone slap a  roped up sled on the twilight wolves and they could filled in for a dog sled team in Snow Dogs (Cuba Gooding JR)

I don't hate Twilight, the above is just some reasons why I think the movies are stupid. Honestly, Vampire VS Werewolf? I like the concept, even if it has been done a load of times.

 "I await the day they make Vampire VS Werewolf VS Zombie.
Now that would be the shieet.


  1. have u seen the vampire diaries? it's a tv series which has the same kinda storyline as twilight except everyone is way hotter and the main guy is not so much of a pansy. and the main girl is SUPER hot, isn't emo and doesn't breathe inappropriately.

  2. you had me at main girl is SUPER hot.

    but no I haven't yet. I just had a look on imdb, it looks interesting I think I'll check it out.

    A friend gave me the TV series, True Blood not long ago which is supposed to be good as well (and with sex scenes too!) not to mention my hairdresser highly recommends it as I tend to have the Twilight argument with her fairly regurlarly hehe.